Jane was the youngest of three children. Her mother didn’t work after she got married and had always encouraged her daughters to do it differently, to get a good education and maintain their independence. So Jane had gone off to University without putting much thought into what it was she actually wanted to do after she had finished.  Jobs for graduates were hard to come by so she basically took the first one that came along.  Not surprisingly she didn’t find work hugely fulfilling so when Jack came along in his nice car and Italian suit, marriage and kids seemed like a good alternative. 

That was twelve years and four kids ago. A lot had happened in the intervening years.  They had moved house twice, Jane renovating each one as they went. Of course the size of the mortgage had increased as they increased the number of bedrooms. But Jane was now questioning whether a big house could really compensate for the loneliness she felt night after night as Jack worked late.  And when he did come home he was either too tired to talk or the laptop was switched back on.
When she tried to talk to him about it, he just looked at her in aghast and said she was the one who had wanted the big house and four kids. He didn’t see her doing much about paying for their expensive lifestyle! And she knew he was right. She didn’t have any right to feel lonely and depressed but she didn’t know what she could do about it.

With Jane it was important for her to think about and then verbalise what it was she wanted in life.  She had never given much thought to her values and goals before, not when she was choosing a University course, not when she was choosing a job.  By encouraging her to take the time to look within, Jane was able to come up with many of the answers herself.

She realised that as she had spent the last twelve years looking after everyone else and their interests, she had neglected herself. She hadn’t done anything just for her and her own development. In fact she had played the martyr role to perfection. But all that was about to change. She found an Interior Design Course which she could attend three days a week during school hours.  It would take two years to get her Diploma and after that the possibilities were endless. But best of all was that she would be able to work in a field she was passionate about and still be at home for the kids. As for Jack, the laptop wasn’t being switched quite so quickly at night as he got caught up in her enthusiasm for her new life.  She just didn’t know why she had left it so long.